If you’re a guy and she wants to go down on you, she probably doesn’t even have to ask. “Want a B.J.?” might be nice but may not be required.
With women, it’s completely different. They need just as much preparation for oral sex as they do for regular sexual intercourse. In our book TOP GUN LOVE, I use the analogy of firing a missile.
To fire a missile from a fighter you have to activate three systems: the acquisition and guidance system, the launch system, and the arming system. Once the acquisition system is activated, you get the target in the sight and press a button on the stick to lock it in. Then the missile guidance system takes over tracking the target. By this time, you would have armed the launch system so that when you press another button on the stick, the missile will fire and leave the launch rail and head toward the target. There is yet another switch that is used to arm the missile so that it will actually explode when it gets to the target.
If you want to have sex with a woman, oral or otherwise, you have to make the right approach. If you get the foreplay in the wrong order, or don’t do it completely, you may fire a dud, or you may not even get a launch.
Unlike a fighter which will pretty much perform the same way every time you do certain things, women rarely respond the same way every time. Every woman is different than every other woman, and most women will respond differently on a different day. A lot of this depends on her menstrual cycle and how you handle your approach.
To continue the missile analogy, acquisition and tracking are the most important parts. It begins when you get out of bed in the morning. Start being nice to her right from the get-go. KINDNESS is an essential element in the relationship and never more important than in the seduction phase. Keep tracking her all day long; a call from the job; a great hello when you get home; playful teasing during dinner; all add up to a more exciting experience.
You still have to make sure the launcher is enabled and the missile is armed. This comes during the physical foreplay when you are touching her body in all those sensitive spots that are not her genitals. When you can read that she is ready, you can arm the missile by moving to her genitals with lots of teasing.
So, if your objective is to give her pleasure by giving her oral sex, treat it just as if you were going to make love to her. You have to be there completely present and read her response to know if you are doing the right thing. The pay off is that you get her great sexual energy and a happy woman to boot. In our book TOP GUN LOVE we spend a whole chapter talking about oral sex techniques. — Frank
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